He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
