So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
