no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
