It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
