I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
