So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
