Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
