I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
