What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
