We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
