Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
