it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
