This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
