But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
