I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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