he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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