He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
