He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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