I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
