I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
