she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
