dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
