? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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