Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
