we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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