We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
