why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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