i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
