i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Alive.
So much puke
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
