he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
