Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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