I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
