bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
