Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
