If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
