i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
