I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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