I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
