Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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