He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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