one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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