Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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