Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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