I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
