Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
