dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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