The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
