Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
