he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
