My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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