You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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